During the day we are doing different activities and, in that process, we are unsatisfied with many tasks. Sometimes we would rather give up or just skip some of our obligations. The main reason for that is procrastination and fear.
The fear of failure, or in other words shame. The fear of experiencing shame or embarrassment. Failing can trigger feelings of worthlessness, so avoiding doing and trying something in the first place can sometimes serve as a way to protect ourselves from disappointment, regret, and sadness.
What Is Fear
Some people are fun of extreme sports, roller-coasters and horror movies while others avoid them. When we experienced fear, it is experienced in our brain and it triggers a strong physical reaction in our body. Fear is physical.
As soon as we recognize fear one small organ in the middle of the brain starts to work and alerts the nervous system. That sets our body’s response into motion. Blood pressure and heart rate increase and we start breathing faster. Even our blood flow changes, blood actually flows away from our heart and into our limbs. Our body is preparing for fight-or-flight.
It is a stress response that reinforces some parts of our brain and also shuts down other parts. The results of fogginess can slow us down in making the right decision and thinking clearly. We can start screaming and throwing our hands.
Some people enjoy getting caught up in those fearful, stressful moments. Because the thrill doesn’t necessarily end when the ride or movie ends. Our body and brain remain aroused even after our scary experience is over.
“During a staged fear experience, our brain will produce more of a chemical called dopamine, which elicits pleasure,” says Psychologist Zachary Sikora, PsyD. Fear can become a pleasure.
Fear Of Failure
Fear of failure can produce emotional and behavioural symptoms such as anxiety, avoidance, loss of control, helplessness and powerlessness. Also, it can trigger physical symptoms including rapid heart rate, chest tightness, trembling, dizziness, lightheadedness, sweating, and digestive problems.
It is not always so easy to identify the fear of failure because it affects people in a variety of ways.
Some fear of failure include:
- Believing that we don’t have the skills or knowledge to achieve something
- Feeling like we won’t be able to achieve our goals
- Procrastinating to the point that it affects our performance or ability to finish on time
- Telling people that we will probably fail so that expectations remain low
- Underestimating our abilities to avoid feeling let down
- Worrying that imperfections or shortcomings will make other people think less of you
- Worrying that you will disappoint others if you fail
Usually, when we have fear of failure that can influence our abilities and motivation to pursue our goals and be producive. Any kind of fear is an extremely low vibrational emotion and a powerful tool of manipulation.
The system wants us to live in a perpetual state of fear. That’s because a frightened public is easily controlled and manipulated.
Fear’s impact on us is low self-esteem, poor motivation and self-sabotage. Never let your fear decide your fate. Failing is an integral part of the process of learning and repeating actions until we reache success.
Every one of us has different definitions of failure, simply because we all have different benchmarks, values, and belief systems. A failure for one person might simply be a great learning experience or life lesson for someone else.
We have to tap into higher vibrational states, stayed grounded, and balanced and focus on what brings us joy while the world is being programmed with fear.
The major thing is to recognize the fear and the type of fear we can cope with.
How To Cope With Fear Of Failure
There are many reasons why we might feel like we will fail, and some of them are anxiety, depression, hopelessness, low self-esteem, we compare ourselves with others, we have unrealistic expectations, we practice negative self-talk etc. The fear of failure is bad emotion that is painful.
Knowing how to deal with failure in a healthy way takes some of the fear out of it, and it might reduce the pain so we can bounce back better than before.
Everybody fails at one point or another, but that doesn’t make us failures. It means we are human, and that some things didn’t work out this time.
When we fail, we feel embarrassment, anxiety, anger, sadness, and shame. Those feelings are uncomfortable, and many people will do anything they can to escape feeling emotional discomfort.
Those emotions are the reason why people give up. The discomfort of those emotions can push us to try harder and make progress or give up everything. To make something creative we need to go out of our comfort zones.
Coping with failure in a healthy way:
- calling a friend,
- practicing deep breathing,
- taking a bath,
- going for a walk,
- playing with a pet
These are just a few ways to deal with the pain. Not every coping skill works for everyone, so it’s important to find what works for you.
How Not To Be Afraid Of Failure
We need to change our perception of failure, develop realistic thoughts and accept some level of responsibility. In other words, we see failure as a sign that is challenging ourselves to do something difficult, also, that we can handle failure and we can learn something from it.
When we think about our failures, we look for explanations, not excuses. Identify the reasons why we failed and acknowledge what we can do differently next time. If we are looking at our mistakes as a life lesson then that can be a stepping stone toward our goals.
Planning is a great habit to adopt when we’re trying to reduce our fear of failure. Looking at the worst-case scenarios helps us become more realistic and rational. Instead of focusing on what can go wrong, we could focus on what can go right.
“Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.”- is the old wisdom proverb.
Having a backup plan gives us more confidence to move forward and take calculated risks. It is a great way to reduce anxiety about possible failure.
“Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.” – John C. Maxwell.
When you’ve learned that “failure” is an opportunity for growth instead of a death sentence, you conquer the fear of failure.
Final Thoughts
To overcome our fear of failure we can start by understanding and figuring out where it comes from and reframing the way we feel about failure. Overcoming the fear of failure requires courage that empowers us to keep moving forward even when we’re afraid.
Courage is not the absence of fear it is helping us to hold ourselves accountable when we want to self-sabotage. We need to go bravely and decisively in the direction of our dreams and long-term goals. To analyze all potential outcomes, visualize, imagine and define where we want to go in life.
Taking a small step at a time will help us build our confidence, keep us moving forward, and prevent us from getting overwhelmed and fear from failure with visions of our final goal.
